A Bit of Undaunted Silence

I crossed the street with my boy. He was 1 and a half, so it was 3 months ago. We walked away from the grocery store and sat on a hill next to the old Barnes and Noble. We ate a bit of peanut butter and jelly on the little hill. And then we got up and walked up the sidewalk.

Trax Train (GNU Free photo)I live in Salt Lake City near the Trax (our little public transit train). The train stopped and let off a load of people. Damn: we missed it…too far to run with Ronan.

A man, lanky and tall, steely jaws and booming voice, cleared the crowd. Dressed shabby and acting angry, he plowed a wake, like a speedboat, as he walked. He turned at the sidewalk, toward me and my boy.

He cursed “those fu@$ing guys took all my billions!” He raged about the government stealing his money. He bitched and shouted and yelled. But I forget the details. He headed right at me and my boy.

He kept a steady pace. People in front all but ran. On the side, scattered. And those behind him, stopped and went other ways. What do I do? I have a small boy holding my hand.

Running seemed strange, maybe panicky. And I don’t run in front of predators, lest I click their chase instinct. A busy street on our left; a steep hill on our right. I pause. And: shift my vision, change my posture, and sink just a little. I have a small boy holding my hand; I guide Ronan to stand right behind me and I turn sideways. Just in time for…

Silence.

The man stopped talking. Within my reach, he slowed, just a bit.

And he was silent.

He passed right next to me. Quietly.

I could reach out and touch his neck, simply, easily. But—no need. I waited, watching his shape and so many shadows pass, so many shadows whirl, one into another. In silence…just for a bit.

He passed by and then snapped-to…he resumed shouting and bitching and carrying on…while me and my boy turned up the street and headed toward the next train.

I smirked…just a little.

Never be daunted, I thought. Just like that, that crazy thing I call Taijiquan kept me, my boy, and some man—safe. Some anxious, angry man stepped into an empty window of time with me and Ronan. I hope he feels better.

We spent a moment…silent together…just for a bit.

11 Responses to A Bit of Undaunted Silence

  1. Josh young says:
    19 May 2009 at 8:37 am

    Sounds like that man was pretty daunted.

  2. Rick Matz says:
    19 May 2009 at 10:52 am

    Nice story. Thanks.

  3. Shannon says:
    19 May 2009 at 11:10 am

    I think we become more confident in the world when we can protect ourselves and others. We leave the victim world of “I sure hope that person doesn’t attack me”-to the world of I see this person coming a mile away and I have my tools. Not just tools of kick-ass-ness either, but of awareness, breath, courage, confidence and undauntedness. Thanks Steven.

  4. Bob Patterson says:
    20 May 2009 at 4:53 am

    Ah Mr. Smith, thank your years of martial arts training. When I worked with inmates–a long time ago now!–one of the things they taught is your appearance and not to show fear.

    Predators (and nuts) can pick up on your body language and react accordingly. I’m sure that nut had dozens of people look away, scurry off in fear, etc. You on the other hand did something that threw him.

    My only caution is that based on four years of working in two prisons I found that there is always a predator who will call your bluff. Lucky for you it ended where it did.

  5. walt says:
    20 May 2009 at 12:40 pm

    Your story sticks with a person.

    While in a somewhat rough area of town today, I re-told it to my wife. It gave me chills even in the re-telling of it.

  6. Nate says:
    21 May 2009 at 12:36 am

    Sounds like a good experience, thank you for sharing. Not that I think potential danger to you and your son is good, but good in that you got to see how all of your training gets put to work, you being able to protect yourself, your son, and some around you. How great that we can trust our senses and reflexes in these tough situations (when trained properly) where it seems as though there is no time for reasoning and decision making.

    Bob – I don’t think he was bluffing and I think it was actually lucky for the aggressor. I don’t mean this in a big, bad, tough guy kind of way – but just to say the self defence abilities one can learn through Real Taiji (and I’m sure many others) is very effective in these situations.

  7. josh young says:
    21 May 2009 at 8:57 am

    I would never consider that type of person as a threat or an aggressor and from the story i gathered that Steve did not either.

    I think that the story shows that while the other people were afraid, because they confused someone who is unhappy with someone who wants to harm innocent people for no reason, Steven realized that the man was totally harmless and so had no reason to be concerned or daunted.

    If you can see them coming and they can be seen to be upset chances are they are not a real aggressor. Think about it: random attacks in public by strangers who mumble are unheard of.

    Real threats act like predators, predators don’t wander around calling attention to themselves. The stalk and hunt their prey in silence and covertness. They never give you an option for being daunted or not, this is not how it works.

  8. John Crewdson says:
    26 May 2009 at 10:03 am

    That’s a great story Steven. I think it’s an excellent example of “tuning in”. You assessed a potential threat, prepared as the situation allowed and then recognized the threat was not to you and your son. Well done.

  9. Ben Weiss says:
    11 June 2009 at 9:01 am

    The thing I wonder is whether the crazy man even noticed he stopped rambling for a moment. I wonder if he noticed that he shared a moment of silence with Steven and Ronan.

    It also makes me wonder if he saw Steven, realized that he wasn’t reacting the same way as the others, and consciously decided to keep quiet as a means of protecting himself, or if it was a subconscious, automatic reaction to the way Steven was acting.

  10. Urban Samurai says:
    27 June 2009 at 12:33 pm

    Well done for reading the situation right. Others who maybe had something to prove to themselves may have acted aggressively and provoked the man into doing the same, just so they could “teach him a lesson”.

    I believe your calm response may have shamed the man in a way. I think maybe he knew you could see right through his behavior for what it was and this may have brought him back to earth for a moment.

    Another example of the many mini-relationships we have with total strangers every day.

    Good post.

  11. Zen Moments says:
    25 July 2009 at 9:10 am

    Thanks for sharing your story with Zen Moments, Steven – it’s much appreciated.

    Zen Moments are times when we open our hearts and minds fully to the present moment, to that which is right in front of us…

    That’s what you did – in your story – there’s no fixed plan of action, no rigid ‘in this situation, you should do this…’ – just watching what happens with awareness and responding with wisdom. Great!