What Are You Self-Defending?
On the surface, we have a lot to defend and several categories of defendables…
Our friends: we could defend their stuff, their beliefs and opinions, and their good names and honor. There’s more too, no doubt. Our families: we might defend their stuff, beliefs, opinions, names, and honor too, in addition, we might consider ourselves responsible to defend their lives. Our selves: stuff, beliefs, opinions, reputation, honor, image, our very life too, but it’s likely that we spend much of our time (internal and externally) defending our egos.
- All of that though: is superficial. Really…what should we really be defending?
- Think about it.
- Better yet…
Feel about it for a moment.
We need only to defend tenderness.
Tenderness and Taiji
Before we go on, let’s tangent briefly to consider tenderness again.
Imagine for a moment: a seed. You gathered the perfect containers. In your favorite containers, you prepared some soil with just the right nutrients. You picked the best, most potent and alive seeds. You planted them, and you tended to them, with care and kindness, for some time every day until: it grew.
- What is it that pushes toward the light?
Just for a bit, consider that all of us own that little spark. That little spark to grow, to push up and dig down…it’s tender and it thrives with some kind of nurturing. And that little, tender spark has direction…it has vision and purpose, however silent and mysterious, as it digs deeper while reaching upwards.
- You have it too. So do I. It’s very Taiji.
It’s a complex concept and a simple act. But we tend, as martial artists, to really make self-defense a lot of long-term, anxiety-inducing labor. And we love it right?
Love it? Sure. But do you love it because you’re getting to be an arrogant ass-kicker or because you’re learning to expand your capacities as a human-being? Something in between?
Destroying Self-Defense
If our ability to defend our personal tenderness is already built into us, then what? In this modern world it will still help me to study martial arts, but it’ll help me more to study ways to unleash my inherent skills…to get out of my own way…and to have some fun while I’m at it.
- Stop scowling tough guys and gals. Ease up. Smile. We’re building this to win-win-win!
Let’s look at 3 problem areas and some solutions:
- Tension and strength: you’re nervous system is already hardwired to defend your organism. Think about hot-stoves or campfires — have you ever reflexively jerked your hand away from something hot? That’s it. You successfully defended yourself from fire! People are easier…if…you allow your body to respond properly. And to start out: relax. Get out of your own way.
- Narrow focus: Squint. Focus. Sit still. Focus. Listen up. Focus…our world is saturated with messages to focus (stop checking your email and read this…) To get out of your own way: soften your focus and open-up. We can expand our awareness by simply softening. Soften your eyes and ears and you’ll see and hear the room you’re sitting in. Heh: soften your butt and you’ll appreciate your chair more. In self-defense we often focus too much on 1 opponent…what about his buddy sneaking up from behind…did you see him?
- Losing too much. Many drills in martial arts have a winner and loser. Look for drills that have 2 winners. Or more. How can everyone win? If you find some ways to build success, you’ll discover that these same games allow for relaxation and expansion of awareness too. These drills are the drills for winners. Use them.
Big Thanks for all my students and colleagues and teachers that are willing to strike me. You all helped me build excellence and fun into personal development.
I put together some short shows for you to push this idea: Destroying Self-Defense.
Here’s the first. Take a look at…
Introducing Destroying Self-Defense
Considering ways to start your form, practice techniques, and do drills that eliminate common errors of self-defense training.
Chew on that. The goats are chewing on something too…watch for more. Soon you’ll see some simple, effective, funny ways to progress steadily, gently, and powerfully. Seriously…jump-in.
